I thought I'd know if I was old

I'm a motor-mouth. That I know. I tell myself its charming and endearing in an attempt of self-preservation, but even that I don't know for sure. Its probably annoying and obnoxious. When I first started dating Stan he'd cover my mouth when I was talking too much. It annoyed the hell out of me...I still think its rude...but just every once in awhile I wish someone would tell me when to shut up.

Its odd getting older, I thought things would be clearer and make more sense; but, the only thing I'm sure of is one of my (bad?) habits. I think the most confusing thing about getting older, is knowing IF you're old. Sometimes I look at people and think they're my age, when it turns out they're really about 15 years younger...they likely look at me like their mother. Then I talk to people that I KNOW are 10 - 15 years older than myself and think, oh, we're about the same age. I know its been said a million times over that age is just a number, but is it? It certainly isn't when you're a kid and grown-ups are OLD, but when does that stop? When you're old? Do I know I'm old because I think age is just a number? One of the cons of permanent verbal diarrhea is it makes me feel like a child. At my age shouldn't I have control of the sheer volume of words that come out of my mouth? In most cases (unfortunately, not ALL) I feel like I have some power of WHAT comes out of my mouth, but I always have something to say.

I love talking to everyone. Except most fellow elementary teachers. I feel like they always try to be such "grown-ups". Unfortunately, it makes me want to act like a kid. I refuse to ACT old, even if I AM old. I don't know if that makes me immature but I certainly feel like it earns me less respect, as though relating to kids makes you a kid. Until I became a teacher I thought relating to people of all ages was a good thing, but apparently I'm supposed to understand them, just not connect with them. Working with people who all picked the same career you'd think there'd be more similarities but in most cases I feel like I'm from another planet.

Well, enough said, I'll shut myself up this time....does that mean I'm developing some control? Does that make me old? Is old the same as mature? Can you be a motor-mouth and mature at the same time? hmm...

The Conclusion (finally)

I guess I better provide an update to the last blog I posted just for the sake of finishing what I started.

Despite my (and everyone else's) prior positive expectations the interview was a DISASTER!!  I've been to a number of interviews of late and always been told that I interview extremely well; not sure if this was my fault or not but here's how it went.

I showed up for my interview a little ahead of schedule, fully prepared and organized.  The initial person I met directed me to the room where my interview was. I'm met at the door by a gentleman (and I use that term loosely) who doesn't introduce himself or even say hello; instead what he says is "Who are you?  I didn't know who I was meeting with and I haven't read your resume" Hunh.  That was when the first red flag went up.  After sitting down he heads straight to "How many kids do you have and where will they go to school?"  Now, I've thought about this last question extensively.  I give him my answer "Stan will stay home with them and do the legwork to get them registered in school" Apparently this isn't okay.  The interviewer informs me that he thinks it will be too expensive---no one told me to bring my bank statements to the interview. Then without looking at my resume except to note that my degree is fairly recent, he says "Oh, so basically you've just been a stay-at-home mom."  Had I not been so caught off guard by this statement I would've told him to Fuck Off, but I try to explain that during this time I started my own Music Education program, attended University full-time and volunteered almost daily in the local school and playschool.  But, he didn't want to hear it.  He never read through my resume, my assessments or my letters of recommendation.    Not surprisingly I didn't get the job.  One of the reasons, though, he gave me for not offering me the contract was "I'm sure your husband is very good at his job but I think he'd find there aren't many job openings in his field."   Hmmmm.....Foreman Electrician in the Oil and Gas Industry....maybe he's right, I'm sure there's no need for those in the Middle East. Retard.  Even if there isn't I didn't realize this interview was about him.

So, thats the story.  I found out from another applicant that one of the interviewers told her that they really seem to frown upon teachers who are happy, fun and enthusiastic and those are the ones they never really consider.  Hunh. (again)  guess I should be miserable, melancholy and lazy.

Oh well, I had a wonderful visit with my family.  Instantly I felt at home in my sister's new place and even with my Dad & Anne I felt at home.  I got to visit with some of my step-siblings who I realize I've missed too; particularly since one was my best friend as a child and we lost touch. Upon getting home the bug had bitten us to go somewhere warm and we've decided that since we won't be moving somewhere warm any time soon we better plan our winter vacation soon! 

Back in Ontario.

First day down. Of course this is the easy, fun day, but its been a little overshadowed by a seriously nervous stomach. Also can't help but feel like the universe is reminding me that it hates me - finally its 30 degrees and sunny in Edmonton but sure enough I'm 5 minutes from the beach now and it poured rain almost all day!!

The flight in was uneventful really. I don't much care for those late day flights, I'm always so tired the next day. It was kind of interesting that the guy sitting beside me was from India and had spent a fair bit of time in the UAE. He assured me that I'd love it (as if there was any doubt) and I had to laugh because I knew what his name would be before he even said it.....you'll never guess.....Muhammed. LOL! It could turn out to be confusing teaching out there, I suspect almost everyone has the same name!! :)

The drive from the airport was a little more exciting. Somehow ended up making a wrong turn and touring western Toronto for about an hour at 1 a.m. oh, and then we ran over a very startled looking possum. Yuck. But we made it and I slept half the day away. Then Erica and I did what we do best together, went shopping.

Now its time to get some sleep. Tomorrow morning will come fast and I suspect I could be a little restless tonight just "rehearsing" my standard interview answers in my head...but in 15 hours this will all be done. Fortunately the interview is just across from the Eaton Centre which is great proximity for either consolation or celebration shopping!! :)

Just once in my life I'd like to be bored.

Two weeks ago my husband walks in the house after work and informs me he wants to work in Dubai.  "Okay" I respond smiling while I continue cooking supper.  He tells me he's serious and again I respond, "Okay" and keep cooking.  Finally, he's getting adamant, "seriously, I do, I want to work there".  Fine.  I put down my spoon and walk to the computer and do what I always do when he says he wants to move somewhere exotic; I google it, find a web page explaining why its a bad idea and he drops the subject for a month or so until he thinks of a new place to move to.

Well, wouldn't you know it.  I can't find a damn thing saying its a bad idea.  In fact, within seconds I find several fine teaching opportunities that one would be a fool to pass up.  But, like anything that good the chances of it panning out are virtually nil.  Stan begs me to apply to them anyway and to humor him I do - fully expecting to waste hours and hours filling out their stupid on-line forms, only to be met with no emails or no phone calls in return.  HAHA. Jokes on me.  Within hours I'm receiving phone calls from London, emails from Dubai and recruiters calling me on behalf of the Abu Dhabi Education Council.  

Turns out a couple of the contacts wouldn't pan out.  Had to be single for one, already living in the UAE for another.  But the last one resulted in a phone interview.  By this point my stomach is doing things it hasn't done since I left home for the very first time and I'm scared shitless about what this could all mean and how we even make a decision like this.  And then the big moment came, I was successful with the phone interview; now they want me in Toronto to meet with the Abu Dhabi Education Council where they say I'll have at least a 75% chance of getting the job and if I do I have to be in the UAE by the middle-end of August!! Talk about stress!!  

So....tomorrow I fly to Toronto.  The interview's not till friday a.m. but I'm already nervous. However,  if the job doesn't work out at least its a great opportunity to see my family for a bit!!  

When I'm in Charge of the World

Call me narcissistic or just insubordinate but controlling the world has been one of my goals since I was in my early teens.  My standards have always been unrealistically high and as a result I have had some issues maintaining relationships around me; so this seems like the ideal employment for me since I am more concerned with fundamental values than popularity. Having recently read George Orwell's 1984 and Lois Lowry's The Giver has sort of renewed this interest and has me refining my political ideologies.  As with any ideology there is undoubtedly faulty premises, slippery slopes and, well, a certain amount of inherent contradictions...but, I'll worry about those when I actually get there! :)

Let me preface this by pointing out these are my un-filtered thoughts, if you're offended or have issues with my discriminations and intolerance - piss off. This is not a democracy but a dictatorship.  Democracies don't work anyway; politicians sacrifice their values and beliefs to passify the masses in large enough quantities that essentially they sell their souls to the highest and potentially stupidest bidders.   

"The Charter"

My goal is to minimize stupidity and maximize the care and well-being of as many people as possible, beginning with the newest and most vulnerable members of society.  By doing this we ought to eventually create a sort of survival of the fittest and evolve humanity to a much higher level.

My slogan is "I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter."

Global Anthem (which, by the way, is very important, music will be held in the highest regard in my society) will be written by The Weepies, since after extensive personal research it has become evident that you cannot have a bad day if it begins with The Weepies.

My right hand man will be Ralph Klein, except when he's uh, "incapacitated" then its Yvonne.

Most important precepts:

1.  All prospective parents MUST pass a psyc evaluation before being issued a license entitling them to bear children. Should a person fail to obtain a license before having children they automatically forfeit all rights to have children.  People not responsible enough to apply for and obtain a license are hardly responsible enough to care for another life.  By limiting the production of children to qualified people we will hopefully weed out the "bad-parenting gene" (be it biological or environmental)

2.  One parent MUST be the primary caregiver for a child until that child reaches the age of 5.  Parents facing economic hardship as a result should have thought of that BEFORE having children.

3.  Every child must attend school, however, the parents must remain actively involved.  Schools are not a babysitting service.  Should a child fail to comply with the behavioural standards at the school the parents are then responsible for the educating of the child.  Can't afford that? Should've thought of that before having children.

4.  Teachers will be required to pass an exam similar to that of parents and will be held to the same standards I would hold myself to.  

5.  There will be no "inclusive" classrooms.  Students will be taught a program tailored to their abilities and potential.

6. Anyone causing bodily or psychological harm to a child will immediately be removed from society. Period.

7.  Work for Welfare.  There are no handouts.  As long as you require an income and are physically capable of working, you will.  Physical incapacities caused by addictions to drugs and alcohol will not be considered valid reasons to not work, should these individuals "self-destruct" as a result we will hopefully reduce the number of addicts both present and future.

8.  Healthcare will be available; however, a two-tiered health care system is also acceptable.  If you can afford private healthcare that is your prerogative.  Jealousy by the less wealthy ought not to prevent someone from spending their income as they choose.

9.  Humanities, particularly the arts and literature, will be as valued as maths and sciences.

10.  Music and Art will be afforded the same funding as Athletics.

11.  Anyone I deem blatantly stupid will be automatically removed from society and/or required to work retail.

  

12.  Role models to young children that fail to provide a positive impression, particularly musicians and actors/resses will be removed from their "leadership" position.

Okay, thats a start....there's all kinds of fine details to work out, i.e. a manner of incorporating music into every aspect of life, but that will have to wait.  For now I'm leaving it at this and going to go watch The People's Court - I find it oddly politically inspiring.

Yes I'm Grumpy when I'm Sick.

I need a vacation, its time to go back to work. Never thought the day would come where I'd feel that way, but there it is. I haven't taught in two weeks and its time to go back. I can't decide whats been harder, being home with some killer flu virus or having Gracie home the whole time too. I love her to death but she hasn't stopped talking for more than 5 minutes this whole week, every time I'm almost asleep she has something to tell me; important things, you know, like she had a paper cut last week and Breanna was such a good friend that they went to the bathroom together and washed it out and then they put a bandaid on it and talked about how it was nice to have friends and some kids are mean but they want to be nice and she likes horses but at her party they're making flipflops.

I blame the virus for my low tolerance level, normally I can put up with almost anything my own kids do, but this week its been tough. Seems like every year we get a worse bug than the year before. I'm fully convinced that one of these years we're going to be wiped out by some killer virus (just not the swine flu) and its ultimately going to be our own fault. I blame it on the over-use of anti-bacterial EVERYTHING. That and those snotty little kids who insist on touching everyone and everything in their path. I even had a Grade 8 boy with a cold come and give me a hug once (icky, on a number of levels).

Anyhow, in the hopes of distracting Gracie from her constant need to chatter and to reward Anneke for a job well done in swimming I took them out for ice cream. No sooner had we pulled out of the parking lot and Gracie informs me "you don't look very sick, you're eating ice cream" Two minutes later I get "I don't like how you're driving. You should have both hands on the wheel". Seriously. I can't win.

Gracie isn't the only source of my grief, even my mother-in-law is grating on my nerves. This morning I was sluggishly trying to make Anneke a real breakfast before school and was baking her pancakes. Well, try as I may I couldn't find my good spatula. Turns out my MiL decided to try fix the running toilet in the master bath and used the SPATULA!!! WTF?! For starters, how the HELL do you fix a toilet with a spatula and secondly, what would possess anyone to use a Kitchen utensil of all things to do that??!!! I dumped the spatula, used a fork to flip the pancakes and I guarantee from now on, anytime I cook with a spatula my kids will need to be reassured that it hasn't been in the toilet. Nice.

Wow, I'm starting to feel better already...lol....maybe I don't need to go back to school after all. Maybe I'll just ship Gracie back on Monday and spend a day of peace & quiet at home.

Home (at last??)

Phew, months of anticipation and its done.  unreal.  Its good to be home, but i'm exhausted.  Note to self, you're too old to fly with a hangover. 

Its great to be home. I missed my girls.  I'm looking forward to taking the whole family down there sometime when we can relax and not have to deal with major life-changing events.  

The flight was good.  My sister and I sat together on the flight home which made it go much faster...there was a bizarre indie-film on the plane about the extreme evangelical christians and the way they teach their children.  very interesting, but i'm not going to get into it now (my head still hurts) and i don't have the energy to get that worked up. :)  But it helped pass the time too.  After being home for about 30 minutes it was time to hit the midway/carnival (OH MY GOD)  - worse than flying with a hangover is watching endlessly spinning rides and smelling corn dogs and fried food with a hangover.  UGH.  But the kids had a great time and thats what matters. 

Now for a little R n' R.  its damn well about time. :)