The Conclusion (finally)

I guess I better provide an update to the last blog I posted just for the sake of finishing what I started.

Despite my (and everyone else's) prior positive expectations the interview was a DISASTER!!  I've been to a number of interviews of late and always been told that I interview extremely well; not sure if this was my fault or not but here's how it went.

I showed up for my interview a little ahead of schedule, fully prepared and organized.  The initial person I met directed me to the room where my interview was. I'm met at the door by a gentleman (and I use that term loosely) who doesn't introduce himself or even say hello; instead what he says is "Who are you?  I didn't know who I was meeting with and I haven't read your resume" Hunh.  That was when the first red flag went up.  After sitting down he heads straight to "How many kids do you have and where will they go to school?"  Now, I've thought about this last question extensively.  I give him my answer "Stan will stay home with them and do the legwork to get them registered in school" Apparently this isn't okay.  The interviewer informs me that he thinks it will be too expensive---no one told me to bring my bank statements to the interview. Then without looking at my resume except to note that my degree is fairly recent, he says "Oh, so basically you've just been a stay-at-home mom."  Had I not been so caught off guard by this statement I would've told him to Fuck Off, but I try to explain that during this time I started my own Music Education program, attended University full-time and volunteered almost daily in the local school and playschool.  But, he didn't want to hear it.  He never read through my resume, my assessments or my letters of recommendation.    Not surprisingly I didn't get the job.  One of the reasons, though, he gave me for not offering me the contract was "I'm sure your husband is very good at his job but I think he'd find there aren't many job openings in his field."   Hmmmm.....Foreman Electrician in the Oil and Gas Industry....maybe he's right, I'm sure there's no need for those in the Middle East. Retard.  Even if there isn't I didn't realize this interview was about him.

So, thats the story.  I found out from another applicant that one of the interviewers told her that they really seem to frown upon teachers who are happy, fun and enthusiastic and those are the ones they never really consider.  Hunh. (again)  guess I should be miserable, melancholy and lazy.

Oh well, I had a wonderful visit with my family.  Instantly I felt at home in my sister's new place and even with my Dad & Anne I felt at home.  I got to visit with some of my step-siblings who I realize I've missed too; particularly since one was my best friend as a child and we lost touch. Upon getting home the bug had bitten us to go somewhere warm and we've decided that since we won't be moving somewhere warm any time soon we better plan our winter vacation soon! 

Back in Ontario.

First day down. Of course this is the easy, fun day, but its been a little overshadowed by a seriously nervous stomach. Also can't help but feel like the universe is reminding me that it hates me - finally its 30 degrees and sunny in Edmonton but sure enough I'm 5 minutes from the beach now and it poured rain almost all day!!

The flight in was uneventful really. I don't much care for those late day flights, I'm always so tired the next day. It was kind of interesting that the guy sitting beside me was from India and had spent a fair bit of time in the UAE. He assured me that I'd love it (as if there was any doubt) and I had to laugh because I knew what his name would be before he even said it.....you'll never guess.....Muhammed. LOL! It could turn out to be confusing teaching out there, I suspect almost everyone has the same name!! :)

The drive from the airport was a little more exciting. Somehow ended up making a wrong turn and touring western Toronto for about an hour at 1 a.m. oh, and then we ran over a very startled looking possum. Yuck. But we made it and I slept half the day away. Then Erica and I did what we do best together, went shopping.

Now its time to get some sleep. Tomorrow morning will come fast and I suspect I could be a little restless tonight just "rehearsing" my standard interview answers in my head...but in 15 hours this will all be done. Fortunately the interview is just across from the Eaton Centre which is great proximity for either consolation or celebration shopping!! :)

Just once in my life I'd like to be bored.

Two weeks ago my husband walks in the house after work and informs me he wants to work in Dubai.  "Okay" I respond smiling while I continue cooking supper.  He tells me he's serious and again I respond, "Okay" and keep cooking.  Finally, he's getting adamant, "seriously, I do, I want to work there".  Fine.  I put down my spoon and walk to the computer and do what I always do when he says he wants to move somewhere exotic; I google it, find a web page explaining why its a bad idea and he drops the subject for a month or so until he thinks of a new place to move to.

Well, wouldn't you know it.  I can't find a damn thing saying its a bad idea.  In fact, within seconds I find several fine teaching opportunities that one would be a fool to pass up.  But, like anything that good the chances of it panning out are virtually nil.  Stan begs me to apply to them anyway and to humor him I do - fully expecting to waste hours and hours filling out their stupid on-line forms, only to be met with no emails or no phone calls in return.  HAHA. Jokes on me.  Within hours I'm receiving phone calls from London, emails from Dubai and recruiters calling me on behalf of the Abu Dhabi Education Council.  

Turns out a couple of the contacts wouldn't pan out.  Had to be single for one, already living in the UAE for another.  But the last one resulted in a phone interview.  By this point my stomach is doing things it hasn't done since I left home for the very first time and I'm scared shitless about what this could all mean and how we even make a decision like this.  And then the big moment came, I was successful with the phone interview; now they want me in Toronto to meet with the Abu Dhabi Education Council where they say I'll have at least a 75% chance of getting the job and if I do I have to be in the UAE by the middle-end of August!! Talk about stress!!  

So....tomorrow I fly to Toronto.  The interview's not till friday a.m. but I'm already nervous. However,  if the job doesn't work out at least its a great opportunity to see my family for a bit!!  

When I'm in Charge of the World

Call me narcissistic or just insubordinate but controlling the world has been one of my goals since I was in my early teens.  My standards have always been unrealistically high and as a result I have had some issues maintaining relationships around me; so this seems like the ideal employment for me since I am more concerned with fundamental values than popularity. Having recently read George Orwell's 1984 and Lois Lowry's The Giver has sort of renewed this interest and has me refining my political ideologies.  As with any ideology there is undoubtedly faulty premises, slippery slopes and, well, a certain amount of inherent contradictions...but, I'll worry about those when I actually get there! :)

Let me preface this by pointing out these are my un-filtered thoughts, if you're offended or have issues with my discriminations and intolerance - piss off. This is not a democracy but a dictatorship.  Democracies don't work anyway; politicians sacrifice their values and beliefs to passify the masses in large enough quantities that essentially they sell their souls to the highest and potentially stupidest bidders.   

"The Charter"

My goal is to minimize stupidity and maximize the care and well-being of as many people as possible, beginning with the newest and most vulnerable members of society.  By doing this we ought to eventually create a sort of survival of the fittest and evolve humanity to a much higher level.

My slogan is "I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter."

Global Anthem (which, by the way, is very important, music will be held in the highest regard in my society) will be written by The Weepies, since after extensive personal research it has become evident that you cannot have a bad day if it begins with The Weepies.

My right hand man will be Ralph Klein, except when he's uh, "incapacitated" then its Yvonne.

Most important precepts:

1.  All prospective parents MUST pass a psyc evaluation before being issued a license entitling them to bear children. Should a person fail to obtain a license before having children they automatically forfeit all rights to have children.  People not responsible enough to apply for and obtain a license are hardly responsible enough to care for another life.  By limiting the production of children to qualified people we will hopefully weed out the "bad-parenting gene" (be it biological or environmental)

2.  One parent MUST be the primary caregiver for a child until that child reaches the age of 5.  Parents facing economic hardship as a result should have thought of that BEFORE having children.

3.  Every child must attend school, however, the parents must remain actively involved.  Schools are not a babysitting service.  Should a child fail to comply with the behavioural standards at the school the parents are then responsible for the educating of the child.  Can't afford that? Should've thought of that before having children.

4.  Teachers will be required to pass an exam similar to that of parents and will be held to the same standards I would hold myself to.  

5.  There will be no "inclusive" classrooms.  Students will be taught a program tailored to their abilities and potential.

6. Anyone causing bodily or psychological harm to a child will immediately be removed from society. Period.

7.  Work for Welfare.  There are no handouts.  As long as you require an income and are physically capable of working, you will.  Physical incapacities caused by addictions to drugs and alcohol will not be considered valid reasons to not work, should these individuals "self-destruct" as a result we will hopefully reduce the number of addicts both present and future.

8.  Healthcare will be available; however, a two-tiered health care system is also acceptable.  If you can afford private healthcare that is your prerogative.  Jealousy by the less wealthy ought not to prevent someone from spending their income as they choose.

9.  Humanities, particularly the arts and literature, will be as valued as maths and sciences.

10.  Music and Art will be afforded the same funding as Athletics.

11.  Anyone I deem blatantly stupid will be automatically removed from society and/or required to work retail.

  

12.  Role models to young children that fail to provide a positive impression, particularly musicians and actors/resses will be removed from their "leadership" position.

Okay, thats a start....there's all kinds of fine details to work out, i.e. a manner of incorporating music into every aspect of life, but that will have to wait.  For now I'm leaving it at this and going to go watch The People's Court - I find it oddly politically inspiring.

Yes I'm Grumpy when I'm Sick.

I need a vacation, its time to go back to work. Never thought the day would come where I'd feel that way, but there it is. I haven't taught in two weeks and its time to go back. I can't decide whats been harder, being home with some killer flu virus or having Gracie home the whole time too. I love her to death but she hasn't stopped talking for more than 5 minutes this whole week, every time I'm almost asleep she has something to tell me; important things, you know, like she had a paper cut last week and Breanna was such a good friend that they went to the bathroom together and washed it out and then they put a bandaid on it and talked about how it was nice to have friends and some kids are mean but they want to be nice and she likes horses but at her party they're making flipflops.

I blame the virus for my low tolerance level, normally I can put up with almost anything my own kids do, but this week its been tough. Seems like every year we get a worse bug than the year before. I'm fully convinced that one of these years we're going to be wiped out by some killer virus (just not the swine flu) and its ultimately going to be our own fault. I blame it on the over-use of anti-bacterial EVERYTHING. That and those snotty little kids who insist on touching everyone and everything in their path. I even had a Grade 8 boy with a cold come and give me a hug once (icky, on a number of levels).

Anyhow, in the hopes of distracting Gracie from her constant need to chatter and to reward Anneke for a job well done in swimming I took them out for ice cream. No sooner had we pulled out of the parking lot and Gracie informs me "you don't look very sick, you're eating ice cream" Two minutes later I get "I don't like how you're driving. You should have both hands on the wheel". Seriously. I can't win.

Gracie isn't the only source of my grief, even my mother-in-law is grating on my nerves. This morning I was sluggishly trying to make Anneke a real breakfast before school and was baking her pancakes. Well, try as I may I couldn't find my good spatula. Turns out my MiL decided to try fix the running toilet in the master bath and used the SPATULA!!! WTF?! For starters, how the HELL do you fix a toilet with a spatula and secondly, what would possess anyone to use a Kitchen utensil of all things to do that??!!! I dumped the spatula, used a fork to flip the pancakes and I guarantee from now on, anytime I cook with a spatula my kids will need to be reassured that it hasn't been in the toilet. Nice.

Wow, I'm starting to feel better already...lol....maybe I don't need to go back to school after all. Maybe I'll just ship Gracie back on Monday and spend a day of peace & quiet at home.

Home (at last??)

Phew, months of anticipation and its done.  unreal.  Its good to be home, but i'm exhausted.  Note to self, you're too old to fly with a hangover. 

Its great to be home. I missed my girls.  I'm looking forward to taking the whole family down there sometime when we can relax and not have to deal with major life-changing events.  

The flight was good.  My sister and I sat together on the flight home which made it go much faster...there was a bizarre indie-film on the plane about the extreme evangelical christians and the way they teach their children.  very interesting, but i'm not going to get into it now (my head still hurts) and i don't have the energy to get that worked up. :)  But it helped pass the time too.  After being home for about 30 minutes it was time to hit the midway/carnival (OH MY GOD)  - worse than flying with a hangover is watching endlessly spinning rides and smelling corn dogs and fried food with a hangover.  UGH.  But the kids had a great time and thats what matters. 

Now for a little R n' R.  its damn well about time. :)

The wedding.....the continuation

Okay, honestly, i'm drunk and its entirely my Uncle George's fault. HAHAHAHA. Apparently my coping skills are less than adequate so Sauvignon fills the void.

It was a really great day. and i have some awesome pics to display, which i will when i'm sober enough to do so and i don't have to leave for the airport in 7 hours. How very weird. My mom's siblings were there, as well as the bride's late husband's siblings. It was a very warm feeling to have everyone i considered family to be there and to have their support as we moved into the really bizarre strange new family. The new family is awesome. we are officially now composed of 8 siblings and 4 in-laws and 4 granddaughters (all between the ages of 7 and 10) Apparently I have some how managed to become the party animal of the bunch but whatever. My speech was short and sweet but i'm proud that i was able to be honest and sincere, while still being true to all my emotions. i think i may have even made the bride cry - thats a good thing right??? :) Anyhow, my dad seems super happy and as long as i don't have to see them make out or anything i'm happy for him :) Looks like the brides eldest son, his wife (my childhood bestfriend) and their 2 girls may even come stay for a visit this summer which would be very cool.

Okay, i must sleep. i 'm so tired.

night all.

Day Three....aka The Big Day...

My family is insane. Lucky me I get to see the majority of them this afternoon, (how did I end up so normal?) I've seen my dad for a total of about 2 hours this weekend, just long enough for him to tell me I owe him money! nice....I wanted to mention that he owed me more but its his wedding day, i'll be nice. :)

I'm excited to get this weekend over and done with at this point, but the worst is yet to come!! The reception is in this wonderful little 3 storey red brick victorian restaurant with the whole second storey to ourselves. However, there is a little pub on the main floor and I'm trying to decide between getting drunk prior to my speech or just finding some stranger in the bar willing to give the speech for me. My brother has decided he's going to hit up the bar for a date for the wedding. :) I'm not that stressed actually, it can't be any worse than the eighth graders at Riverview!! Chances are no ones going to try to fight me!! My dad is pretending he's not nervous. He keeps saying its all going to be low-key and he just wants everyone to have fun, but when he pulled out the itinerary and had the times down to things like "3:13 p.m.: Begin handing out programs" I almost peed myself laughing.....

Alrighty, better go get pretty......will give updates after the wedding!

Day two.....

I'm starting this BEFORE I meet up with my soon-to-be step family for dinner...but I'll finish it and post it when I get back. (Just in case it doesn't make sense). So far, today has been love-l-y, (i say with a British accent since I've already had two glasses of wine, I'm watching BBC and it sounds better that way). Well, actually, today has had its moments but its been okay.


We began the day just the way I like it - shopping!!! yay!! I hadn't intended to, but I pulled out the shirt I was going to wear and it had a funky stain and a pull in it. So, off to the mall I went, I found some super cute shirts for only 9.95!!! yay for me! Then my sister found out that her mortgage approval fell though - apparently her boyfriend has credit issues, so she was bummed and then i hit the sack and slept for 2 hours, which was nice. But my mother-in-law woke me up by calling on my cell phone to tell me that she has agreed to baby-sit her sister's dog. DAMN. I hate dogs (except Luci, of course) and now she's keeping one at my house. My biggest concern is of course Gracie's asthma. She told me she'd keep the damn thing in its kennel, but for TWO days??? I may not like dogs, but i wouldn't do that to a dog...i left a message for Stan, he can deal with her....

We also spent a good chunk of time dividing up mom's crystal/china - not fun. I feel like I'm shopping and I hate that it has to be done, but at least I'll have some more things that belonged to my mom to complement my house with. I had to buy a carry-on suitcase and some bubble wrap to get it home so I'm PRAYING it makes it there in one piece. What a shitty part of this whole trip though. If I was staying longer it would be easier, but what do you do? I have to get home to see my girls and get the dog out of my house..... :)

So I'm back from the "family" function. Good, but definitely unusual. Everyone was really nice but its hard to feel at home in another woman's house. She has stuff of my mom's hanging and stuff of her late husband up too, but looking around at everything thats so new is kind of unsettling. I've known everyone since I was 10 I just haven't seen them in 20 years. It took a bit to feel comfortable, but eventually I was able to relax a little. They were all very easy going but they lost their dad a number of years ago so they've maybe adjusted a little better to the situation than I have. I wonder if it will ever feel like they truly are family....I hope so. After all the "formalities" we just sat around a fire and talked. It was crazy being able to share the same childhood stories with everyone since we all went to the same schools and same church! sort of infringes on my need to run away from that particular bubble!! :)

Anyhow, so far so good. except i have a headache and have to pack a whole lot of stuff. Tomorrow I see my whole family, even my mom's siblings are all coming out, it will be nice (but likely a little emotional)

okay....i'm done....off to bed i go.

Day one of my trip...

Okay, so the flight went really well except for the disappointment of the hot artistic-y musical guy who was flying to Montreal instead of Toronto so didn't get to sit with me, and the really weird girl who did end up sitting with me...oh and my sister getting lost on the way to the airport to pick me up....but i eventually made it and the warm humid weather was WONDERFUL - I finally felt human again.

Today was a very interesting day. Did a little shopping, found some awesome shoes on sale and had a pistachio icecream cone for breakfast (i figure with the time change i'm entitled to pick and choose my meals) :) My sister and I met my dad for lunch and then headed off to the cemetery. The weather was beautiful which somehow seemed to make it easier...i don't know how that works, but whatever. It was tough to see my mom's name written on the stone, i can't believe its been a year --- it made it so real though. Then we went off to see my Beppe (my dad's mom) and I love seeing her but she looks SOOOO old now. I mean she IS old, but holy cow, i half expected her to drop dead while we were there. But she's still hilarious with her sarcastic humor!! It was really strange though because in my mind she's always been so strong, like the epitomy of a strong, sturdy, independent dutch farmers wife...and to see her like that made me realize, wow, if she can get old, so will i. It was a huge reminder of my own mortality. So, aside from the shoe purchases, it was kind of a depressing, death surrounded morning.

BUT after that my sister and I headed for the beach. It was sunny, 29 degrees and just gorgeous. We walked for over an hour with the water splashing around our ankles, sand between our toes and sun on our faces...i really could've stayed forever. Someday i'm moving to a beach and going to live on it - even if its in a cardboard box.

Then we met my other sister and my brother for dinner, went back to their house, started sorting through my mom's artwork and are just hanging out. its nice, weird but nice. I woke up in the middle of the night and shot out of bed because I thought I had to go to the hospital to see my mom...its going to be difficult here for awhile i guess.

I talked to Grandma and the girls are good but apparently she screwed up the clocks after the power went out this afternoon and ended up taking the girls to the city for a playdate at bedtime - oh well, she can deal with them tomorrow, hee hee...sometimes you have to learn the hard way....

.......alrighty, i'm off to soak in the hot tub for a bit while i wait for my sisters brownies to bake.....

So apparently I'm the Metaphor Queen.

Its May. Its May and its snowing. What the hell? What would possess anyone to live here? What were the first settlers thinking when they moved out here? Were they stoned? Were they just retarded? Hmmmm.....lets travel by foot 3000 k's west of where we landed by the Great Lakes and then take a right and head 500 k's north. Nothing beats 7 months of winter, no trees and no major lakes to speak of. Which brings me back to the question "what would possess anyone to live here?" Its not like I was born here, I willingly chose to live here, and why? A man.

Now without a doubt I had the best mother ever, but if there was one thing she was misled on it was her perspective onthe role of women and men. In her mind a woman's primary goal in life should be to find herself a suitable husband. Well, with time, experience and 2 daughters of my own to consider I've come to the realization that men serve a purpose and shouldn't BE a purpose. Okay, maybe thats harsh, there's got to be a middle ground, but if I HAD to pick an extreme that would be it. Life should be like a fine meal, one that you've selected and considered and worked to perfection. Taking the time to make it just exactly how you'd like it and adding a man to your life should be like adding a fine wine to your meal. Just the right complement. It might take a few tries to find just the right wine and even if you don't find the PERFECT one (after all there are a lot to choose from) the meal is still exactly what you wanted and can stand alone if it has to. I don't think this is just how a woman should feel, but a man too. I don't want to be the woman that has to hold a man's life together and keep it balanced. I want him to know what he wants and I'm there to enrich it. Needy isn't sexy. I guess I sort of knew that all along since I always dumped the needy ones. In the end I found one who's a little extreme the other way, but this is a Sagittarius talking, there's no such thing as too independent - until it comes to shoveling snow.

First shot at it

You know those merry-go-rounds at the park? You know, those wooden circles, the ones with the metal bars that kids hang or sit on while parents hold their breath because inevitably some 3 year old decides to walk off while its spinning at full tilt and gets smacked across the back of the head by a metal bar (or 2).  Well, I've discovered that writing is an awful lot like those merry-go-rounds.  If you don't get on before the spinning starts you watch it spin around and around and every time you think, okay jump now, get on it now, but if you hesitate for just a little too long you then have wait for that perfect moment all over again.  I get all these ideas in my head (typically at about 1 a.m.) and I think "oh, I should write that down, I'm a freaking genius" but then I get up and (if I'm not thinking, wow I'm an idiot in the middle of the night)  I think, Where do i start?  There never seems to be the perfect spot to start at, I can't seem to just "jump" right into it and I hesitate, the ideas disappear and I have to wait for the right time again.  And ending what I have to say has the same problems...am I just going to wait till its come to a complete stop by itself? you know when you're barely moving and all the other kids have gotten off and left you by yourself...do you just keep rambling nonsense until everyone gets bored and leaves and eventually you just quit? Kind of like a song, where the artist can't quite figure out where to end it so they just keep repeating the same line and turn down the volume. Or do you put your foot down and risk getting smacked by one of the slow moving bars and stop cold.  I wish I could just stop cold but I've always been such a chicken....always been such a chicken....always been such a chicken.....always been such a chicken....always been such a chicken.....